How the Root Causes of Communication Anxiety Can Entrap YOur Voice
Have you ever found that after undertaking some courses and trainings and reading many books and guides to improve or fix a current weakness or challenge, your efforts during implementation failed or fizzled? That weakness could be in knowledge, in mindset, or in an approach to managing something. That challenge could be in a skill, a technique, or an outcome to produce something. So why, after all that effort, are you not able to have the kind of impact or influence you aimed for?
The answer is quite often in the saboteurs who betray your underlying, well-intentioned ambitions. And the accomplices are the fears and anxieties that are fueled by these saboteurs who hide the key to your inner Guru.
So what is a Guru? A guru is not just a teacher. According to ancient Indian philosophy and practices, there is the word “Guru” and a different word for “a teacher”- both have specific roles and responsibilities. A Guru is one who, without any selfish motives or hidden agendas, teaches, guides, and leads a student or follower towards wisdom that will unleash his/her potential.
You come with your experiences, your expertise, your knowledge. The goal through your journey is to discover and unleash your potential to achieve greater sense of happiness and fulfillment at what you do. You are your own Guru. Your Inner Guru has the right and responsibility to unleash your potential. YOU have that right. You OWE it to yourself to discover, explore, define and showcase your potential. The hope is, of course, that you will be able to contribute that potential toward something – be it the betterment of your life, your family, your community, your society or more. That is, after all, what life is all about, isn’t it?
So these saboteurs entrap your inner guru in a cage, and the accomplices not only cover that cage with mud, straw, blankets and so on, but they also hide the key to prevent your guru from empowering you. The saboteurs are both a combination of your nature as well as habituated beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that you have picked up from others since childhood. Those others may have exacted certain behaviors and actions that impacted your nature and response to everything you have done throughout your life thus far.
Their perceptions of you have influenced your mindset, your choices, your actions, your voice, and your perception of yourself when you were most vulnerable. Fast forward in life, you will have found mentors, supervisors, friends, or family whose perceptions of you also have impacted you; and your positive and negative responses to them will have influenced you as well:
· “Oh, that’s how an administrator should sound like… well, I’ll adopt that in my tone.”
· “Oh, I love the way my aunt always sounds so loving and genuine—that’s how I want to sound when I talk to people.”
· “My mother always said “sorry” for every move she made, and she said that was because she was taught to be humble. That’s how I should be, too, because I value humility above all things.”
· “My father would slap me if I frustrated him with wrong answers in math. Very quickly, he would slap me for crying in reaction to being slapped. Then, when he would ask me if I would continue crying, he would slap me again for saying “yes”, and slap me again for saying “no”. Whatever answer I gave that I thought he wanted would guarantee a slap. So I’m always damned if I do and damned if I don’t”.
· “My mother always gave the silent treatment to my father whenever they had an argument. That invariably got my father to say ‘sorry’. So that’s the way I need to be with anyone who gets me angry… But wait, the silent treatment isn’t working on my partner, sibling, or friend. Why not?”
This is how the root causes of communication anxiety take hold of your voice, authenticity, authority, confidence and interaction with your audience—be it a single person or a large group in a personal or professional setting.
And all of that mixed together have manifested the fears and anxieties that impact your abilities today.
That is why all those books, courses and trainings, all that money and time spent on cultivating yourself remain short lived. You may have the expertise, but your ability to demonstrate it or communicate it to the standard you’re trying to reach falls short.
Can you relate? This is why it’s imperative to address the root causes of communication anxiety before working on the external communication skills that you may have already invested time and money in. Only when these root causes are conquered will you be able to reapply those skills successfully that will unleash your true persona, your true identity, your true voice, and your real potential.
A coach can help you through this process because doing this alone will take a lot longer, truth be told. Do you really have more years to lose on investing in yourself in this way? Why risk it when it can be tackled once and for all with the help of a coach? I am here to help and would be honored to help you achieve this transformation, if you’re ready.
#Authenticity #PublicSpeaking #ProfessionalGrowth #Empowerment #ConquerCommunicationAnxiety
©Mitali Chaudhery, 2024. All rights reserved.